Cakes of My Youth: Better Than Sex Cake

by Wendy Copley on November 22, 2009


The first thing I want to say about this cake is that it is INSANE. It is just completely Batman CRAZY.

Let’s start with the name: Better-Than-Sex Cake.

Right there — don’t you want to be friends with the woman who invented this cake? You know she’s fun at a party, right? (And you know that it had to be a woman who first made this. No man would ever give a cake that name. They just wouldn’t.)

Next, there’s the cake itself. You start with a chocolate cake which is bound to be pretty good. But that’s not good enough. No — you have to make it sweeter and gooier. And then after making it pretty dang sweet and gooey, you have to make it even more sweet and more gooey. And then — what the heck — let’s throw some whipped cream on top, just for kicks!

The upshot here is that you use a cake as a sponge to absorb caramel.

Completely ridiculous.

We didn’t have this cake for years and years when I was growing up. I think it only made an appearance for a few years when I was in my pre-teens (we didn’t call it “tweens” back then) but it really made an impact in my memories — for fairly obvious reasons, I suppose. My mom told me she got the recipe from a woman at work (she was an elementary school teacher at the time) and the other lady got it from her church cookbook. Hee!

Now, let’s get to it:


You’re going to need a box of German chocolate cake mix, eggs and oil to make the cake, a can of sweetened condensed milk, a jar of Mrs. Richardson’s butterscotch caramel sauce and a tub of Cool Whip. This is a Weight Watchers recipe. (Kidding!)


Make your cake according to the package directions.


Stir it up real good.


Bake it in a 9 x 13 pan.


As soon as it comes out — while it’s still warm — poke it all over with the handle of a wooden spoon or some other pokey thing.


Next pour an entire can of sweetened condensed milk over the top of the cake, letting it drip down into the holes you poked. This will make the cake gooey to the core.


Then the recipe says to pour 3/4 of the jar of caramel sauce over it. Seriously? Is the thinking here that the whole jar would make it too sweet? You could dump a half a bag of sugar on this thing at this point and it wouldn’t taste any sweeter. What harm is 3 oz. of caramel going to do? I went ahead and put it all on.


Gently spread the condensed milk and the caramel sauce around the top of the cake with your spoon, pushing the goo down into all those holes you poked.


Tuck it in around the edges so those get gooey too.


Then dump the thawed container of Cool Whip on and spread that around. The Cool Whip is important because it balances the flavor of the cake out.


Slice and enjoy!

The Verdict:

  • Zach didn’t care for it at all, which is pretty much what I expected. He’s not big on desserts in general so I wasn’t too surprised.
  • I also gave some to my neighbor and her niece and told them to be brutally honest. They said that they liked it, but who knows if that was true or if they were just being polite. They did love the name of the cake though and we all had a good laugh about it.
  • After Wyatt ate his piece he told me he thought it was good but, “It wasn’t that sweet, Mom.” ?!?!?! “The only part that was sweet was the orange stuff,” he said. Oh yeah — you must mean the caramel that’s infused every crumb of the cake. Yeah, aside from that it’s pretty mellow.
  • I thought it was pretty darn tasty but man was it sweeeeeeeeet! I thought my teeth were going to jump out of my mouth in protest and run to the nearest dental office seeking amnesty. This is a cake a twelve year old is going to like much more than someone in her late 30’s will, that’s for sure. The flavor of the cake settled a bit after a night in the fridge and it didn’t seem quite as overwhelming, so that was good.

My final say is this: This cake is pretty good, but it’s not something I’ll be making regularly. It’s kind of fun for the kitsch value and it’s fun to tell people the name, but honestly after all my years living in a health-conscious area and attempting to eat a healthy diet it’s not going to be very appealing to my friends and familiy and I feel too guilty eating it myself. So this one might be better off staying in my memory.

And to answer your final question: No, it’s not.

Better Than Sex Cake

1 box German Chocolate cake mix (and the ingredients to prepare it — probably eggs and oil)

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 jar of Mrs. Richard’s butterscotch caramel ice cream topping

8 oz. tub Cool Whip

Bake the German chocolate cake in a 9×13 inch pan according to the package directions. As soon as it is out of the oven, poke holes in the top with the end of a wooden spoon. Pour one can of sweetened condensed milk over the top. The pour ¾ (or one) jar of Mrs. Richard’s butterscotch ice cream topping over the top. Cool. Spread cake with 8 oz. cool whip. Refrigerate.

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  • Kristin

    The idea of it is something to grab onto especially for a sex starved stay-at-home middle-aged mom like me! My husband is on Viagra at this point and sex is infrequent and far between. Far, far between.

    I may have to try this cake…

  • I'm wondering how old you are because this cake totally became popular my sophomore year in high school! I wonder if that cooincided with your preteen resurgence.
    I seem to remember it involving crushed up Skor bars being strewn over the top, below the whipped topping. You know, cuz it wasn't sweet enough already. 😉

    I remember liking it back then, but just reading about it now gives me a stomach ache!

  • michelleccmt

    OH my goodness that looks sooo freaking good.

  • grace

    love that cake! to make it a tad bit better, i sprinkle crushed heath bar bits on top!

  • OMG! You guys are killing me with the Heath and Skor bars! That would be awesome!

  • Michele

    The recipe I use calls for the Scor bar bits and they are essential! And the caramel sauce and condensed milk are heated together and poured over the cake hot…… then when you sprinkle the scor bits they melt a little bit….omg I want it now!

  • Love it! You crack me up.
    I've made this cake before also, but in my family we don't do the caramel and we top it with crushed Butterfinger bars. Yummy! 🙂

  • My father-in-law used to make this cake. He took his recipe to his grave with him so I'm glad you've shared it here. Thanks.

  • my first response was: “jesus!” sorry, it just slipped out. dang, i think my teeth rotted out just looking at the photos!

  • I am used making cakes from scrap… no boxes no nothing, no caramel.. so i'll never be able to make this…
    Don't you make cakes without needing a box???

  • They probably did — I'd go see a dentist immediately.

  • Yes — I normally make my cakes from scratch, but these last few cakes I've posted about are cakes that my family made when I was a girl. 20 or 30 years ago it was much more common to use boxed cake mixes in the U.S. People still use them today, but I think more people have gone back to cooking from scratch.

  • I'm so glad to help!

  • You've inspired me. I'm going to bake a cake this weekend. Not this one, mind you – I *just* got my teeth cleaned yesterday. Something with chocolate and cherries I think.

    And, hi there I miss you!

  • You've inspired me. I'm going to bake a cake this weekend. Not this one, mind you – I *just* got my teeth cleaned yesterday. Something with chocolate and cherries I think.

    And, hi there I miss you!

  • fleagirl

    Hadn't read this post till tonight–I'm working late and needed a moment away from what I was doing. I always read the title as “Better than Sex-Cake” as in “Better than Fish-Cake” or “Better than Crab-Cake” not “Better-than-Sex Cake” and I thought…ohhh. What's a sex-cake?

    Soo…what would a sex-cake be in YOUR kitchen? (ie…what WOULD be better-than…?)

  • I really enjoyed reading this!
    I would however use chocolate syrup instead of the caramel, and add chocolate chips under the Cool Whip, and heck, on top too 'cause you just can't have too much chocolate!

  • Beth, I think you're my kind of baker!

  • Chocolover

    Try 7oz of condensed milk and 8 oz caramel and it's not as sweet!

  • Phone Sex Feminization

    It's so interesting.
    Thanks for sharing recipe to make Better than sex cake.
    I will try to make it as soon as possible.
    Phone Sex Feminization

  • Guest

    My grandmother made this cake growing up, we just called it the sweet milk cake…kids! But she made a yellow cake, from scratch, of course, and skipped the caramel, the condensed milk is caramel enough. And it does taste better after its been refrigerated for at least four hours. Try making it without the caramel and using a yellow cake, it might just blow your mind!

  • Chelle

    Whoever named this cake, needed a better husband. I say husband, not lover or boyfriend because it has been around for quite some time (I have a cookbook with the recipe in it from the 70s, written explicitly by housewives and who knows where she got it from!)

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