Wyatt has been asking for a paper wallet like his dad’s for a while now, so I decided to just whip one out for him. He chose red paper of course and when he finished he immediately filled it with discarded cards from his dad’s wallet.

He’s pretty thrilled with it. He keeps asking to go to the grocery store (or “the grocer’s” as he says) because he wants to pay for everything with the “money” in his new wallet. The check-out ladies are really nice about it and “scan” his card each time and he’s so proud. It’s all very cute.

One thing I never knew before I became a mom was that I would feel guilty all the time. I know this is unreasonable. My logical brain tells me that I am a good mom — that my son is awesome and my next son will be too. But man does that emotional part of my brain keep me in line when I get too cocky.

Here are a handful of things I feel guilty about as a parent — some rightfully so, some irrational:

• working
• working at home
• working at home in the evenings
• engaging in my hobbies
• letting my son watch DVD’s
• letting my son play video games
• letting my son see me play video games
• letting my son see me play video games where a house gets robbed and introducing a new fear of burgalars
• giving my son sugary foods to eat
• giving him pizza and french fries too often
• giving my son Cheerios and dried cranberries for dinner some times
• waiting too long to start my son in preschool
• taking my son out of day care
• leaving my son in day care too long
• forgetting to send cards to day care with Wyatt on Valentines Day
• not sending my son to a preschool that his friend attends
• not intuitively knowing everything that every other parent I meet already knows
• yelling
• losing patience with a three-year-old
• swearing in front of my son
• that one time I told Wyatt to “brush his f***ing teeth” and threw his toothbrush in the sink really hard (I still feel really guilty about this one almost a year later. I have a feeling I’ll take this one to my grave.)
• letting Wyatt skip baths
• not singing to the new baby in utero as often as I sang to Wyatt
• just beginning to document my current pregnancy
• eating fish while I’m pregnant
• eating goat and bleu cheese while I’m pregnant
• not sleeping as much during this pregnancy
• feeling stressed out during this pregnancy
• sometimes forgetting that I’m pregnant

What about you all? Anyone want to join in on the guilt-fest? Leave a comment if you feel up for it.

I think most of my blog readers (hi Mom!) already know this, but since I hadn’t said anything on this here blog yet, I thought I should make an official announcement: I’m pregnant. I’m about 20 weeks along now, which is half-way. I can’t believe that I’m this far along. I only just told people at work last week!

We had a hard beginning to this pregnancy (which I’ll get into in another post on another day), but everything is looking up now. One of the side effects of this is that I’ve had an ultrasound at every medical appointment I’ve had so far. We’ve amassed quite a collection of ultrasound pictures now, so last night I hooked up the scanner and digitized them. We have so many, in fact, that I didn’t even bother to scan some of the earlier ones. They mostly just look like a grey blob inside a black blob, so no one is really missing anything.

11 Weeks:

This first batch is from the Ultrasound we had during my CVS test. That test was performed at only 11 weeks and Zach and I were delighted to see so much detail on the ultrasound. They even got a couple of good profile shots. In the photo below, the baby’s head is on the left side, his spine is at the bottom and you can see a little foot on the right side. (Click any of these photos to see a larger view on Flick.)

In this one, he’s kind of rolled over and we are looking at him from the back. Head is on the left, booty is on the right.

15 Weeks:

This one is from the amnio we had at 15 weeks. The head is on the right side here. The two dots to the left are the hands.

19 Weeks:

These are from the big ultrasound we had on Wednesday. Everything looked perfect and the doctor and ultrasound techs kept saying things like, “perfect”, “beautiful” and “A-OK”.

This first one is the proof that he’s a boy (but we already knew that).

Cute little feet!

The ultrasound tech took three pictures and taped them together into a whole baby in this one. On one hand, it’s kind of neat. On the other hand, I think it looks a little creepy.

This one is my favorite.  It’s a profile shot of the baby’s head and his little hand is waving at us. Hi Baby!

More little feet. Awwwwwww!

And finally, this one shows the baby up top and a print out of the heartbeat at the bottom.